Gone Scrazy

"Your plants are just THRIVING!" - E.
"Oh, I thought you said 'pants." - K.
"Your pants are just THRIVING!" - E.
"Thirty, flirty, and thriving." - K.

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"I'll let you be in control of the music again." - K.
"You know how I just love power." - E.

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"I can spell gnome." - E.
"Ohhhh, well THAT'S cool. Congratulations." - K.

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"Beefily. I could picture it being a word." - E.
"But you could also picture 'sweetfly' and 'wrothel.'" - K.

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"Give it a rest with the Japanese words." - K.
"It's not Japanese, it's... Googly." - E.
"We're going Scrabble crazy. Scrazy." - K.

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"Do you mind if I bring it out on my plate?" - K.
"Yes. I mind." - E.
"Well too bad." - K.
"We are so lovey this morning." - E.
"It was strong coffee." - K.

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"My feet are singing. In French." - E.

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"I usually have a cup of tea and a glass of water in the morning, but then I just drink all afternoon." - E.
"Are we still talking about coffee?" - K.

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"Would you like to see some beer in their natural habitat?" - K. (misheard by E.)

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"I wasn't stalking. I was talking. With an s." - K.

Christmas is Better

"I freaked out because of Christmas... and kind of because of him." - A.

Olympic Dreams

"I had a dream that Josh and Michael Phelps were the same person-" - A.

"What?! That's horrifying!" - E.

"Yeah. And he was kind of a jerk." - A.

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"So I said, 'Who hides someone's mp3 charger cord in the bathroom? You're a jerk and I hope you lose.'" - A.

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"I'm going to put that on my tentative mind calendar." - E.

"Yep. Stick it in your noggin." - A.

Math is for Worms

"Mathematics is the purest science though, so it's more important than biology."

"But why does being pure make it more important? We need all the messy, concrete, physical aspects too, because we don't live in a world of pure forms."

"... A world of pure worms?"

"Well, thankfully, we don't live in that world either."

"Make me a kitten sandwich, woman."

"Oh, haha, I thought I heard you say 'like I swallowed Gus.'" - E.

"I DID say that." - A.

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"What REALLY grosses me out is when I think about eating some of this stuff... like when I see someone cut open on the table." - A.

"You EAT people?" - E.

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"If only he had just stopped hanging out with evil emperors and spent more time with Obi-wan, none of this would have happened." - E.

"You need to be careful about your friends, just goes to show." - A.

"Don't be friends with Sith Lords - good life advice, I think." - E.

"Moral of the story." - A.

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"Go make a motion in the Senate where that kind of a request belongs." - Anakin

"Go make a sandwich in the kitchen where YOU belong...." - A.

What is love? (Baby don't hurt me...)

"If that's what you mean, then yes, I do have that highly charged and dangerous emotion."

"Wait! I need to write that down. I can tell this is gonna be a good visit."

"YES! We need to watch the Pirates of the Caribbean movies!"

"All four of them! Mara-thooooooooonnnnnn..."

"Grey Poupon? Why are we talking about mustard?"

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"In my fictional life, I'm really close to the Lord, but... you've done a lot of horrible things."

"Somehow I don't think I should say that."

What's a little incivility between friends?

"If you need some candy, I have all this Easter candy and I need you to eat some of it."
*politely* "No, actually I think I'm fine-"
"EAT IT!"
"NO!"
*submissively* "Okay, that's fine...."

Sleep Deprivation + Caffeine = Velociraptor

"When I'm on caffiene I picture myself as a stick figure with a big head, crawling up a wall & taking a bite out of it. Or a velociraptor." - E.

Why One Should Not Eat Several-Month-Old Meat Sauce: A Case Study

"You have a class at 8am on Friday, don't you?" - A.

"No, it's 9am. Do you have something at 8am?" - E.

"No, but I wish I did, for once." - A.

"You WHAT?!?" - E.

"It's the sauce. It's making me crazy." - A.

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*rambling to A., who is staring pensively into space* "The thing about Fridays is the campus gets so deserted after-" - E.

*turning suddenly to E* "'Are you happy with your life, Frank?'" - A.

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"Your mom is really trying to tempt us. If you say 'strawberries' and 'nutella' in the same sentence, I don't even need to hear 'they're really good.'" - E.

"Well, you know sometimes instead of nutella I like to put flour on my strawberries." - A.

Conundrums on Campus, or alternatively: "College Makes Us Smart"

"We should become scientists and figure out how to stop the trees from budding." - A.

"I don't know if I'd want to try to go against the laws of nature." - E.

"Oh, I will. I will be the first person to go against gravity. And stop trees from budding. Although, to do something like that, you'd have to dedicate your whole life to it, so I guess I should choose just one law of nature to defy." - A. *philosophically*

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"That's the beginning of me defying the laws of nature. Defying crosswalks. It begins there." - A.

*singing helpfully* "Iiiii'm defyyyyyyying graavityyyyyyyyy-" - E.

"No. No you're not." - A.

*submissive silence* - E.

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"It's kind of a weird idea. People are attracted to weirdness, I guess." - E.

"Well that's good, because otherwise I'm never getting married." - A.

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"Is Nicaragua a city or a country?" - E.

"It's a country in South America, isn't it?" - A.

"If it's in South America, I don't think so. Maybe it's in Central America." - E.

"Well... it's somewhere souther than North America! Everywhere down there is South America." - A.

Keep it Classy

While listening to Josh Groban's "Smile":

"This isn't on a cd. It's actually a single he released." - A.

*matter-of-factly* "I know. I actually have heard this one. Because I listened to every version of this song on Youtube one night. *gasp!*" *suddenly catches self and looks at A. in horror/guilt.

"Write that down. WRITE THAT DOWN!" - A.

"It was an emotional evening." - E.

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"Want to stop at the Alehouse?" - A.

"Oh yeah." - E.

"Or how about Hooters. It's on the way home." - A.

"Thaaaat's classier." - E.

"OMG, I haven't had coffee in like two hours. I need some of the Bucks!"

"I could have gotten a whole extra hour of sleep!" - A.

"Well, it wouldn't have really been a Monday if you..." - E.

"Had a good day? Yeah, I know." - A.

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"Want to see my wedding cake? I found it. 'The One.' It's kind of like finding my husband." - A.

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"Is it my husband? Yes! It is!" - A. (opening a band-aid)

*blank look* - E.

"Spanish Buzz. I'm going to marry him." - A.

"Your husband is on a band-aid?" - E.

"*happily* It's like he's kissing my boo-boo constantly." - A.

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"I'm going to go get my sweatshirt - your smoothie is making me cold." - E.

*over-dramatic offended look* "MY smoothie?!" - A.

"It's delicious! It's just making me cold on the inside and-" - E.

"*solemnly* You're already cold on the inside, Erin." - A.

Spring Break Life Lessons

"I hate that word. 'Supplement.' *shudder* Blurgh! It makes me feel like I'm licking a dry popsicle stick." - A.

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"Ahhh... she's touching his chest hair! Gross! WHY! This is why you never talk to women in your bathrobe. Moral of the story." - A.

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"You have to have at least one... they're delicious!" - E.

"I don't deserve strawberries." - A.

That's What Friends are For

"I don't feel that's special. Normal people should be able to do that. 'Special' is he makes bon-bons and brings them to me." - A.

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"... 'cause everything in your life is really dictated by my selfish desires." - A.

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"Future boyfriends have a tall order, making bon-bons for my friends and catering to their every whim... no wonder I'm single." - E.

Young Love

"That movie reminded me of when we were younger." - Dad

"But we didn't know each other when we were younger." - Mom

"But... we were younger!" - Dad

Name That General!

"But what was Stonewall Jackson's first name?"

"Andrew."

"No, I'm pretty sure that was the president. I mean the general who sat on his horse sucking lemons."

"It was Peter, wasn't it? Peter Jackson."

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"That's what I'm going to name my sons - Mason and Dixon."

"And Lee."

"General and Colonel."

"Jackson. Stonewall Jackson."

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*some minutes later, on Wikipedia*

"See! They're not the same person! Andrew Jackson is on the $20. I was talking about the Civil War General, Thomas Jonathan 'Stonewall Jackson."

"Are you reading Wikipedia? Automatically discredited. His real name was Andrew Thomas Jonathan Stonewall Jackson."

Hold the phone!

"Do the buttons for the numbers have different tones?"

"Yes."

"Is that for deaf people?"

*meaningful look* "DEAF people...."