"Over the mysteries of female life there is a veil best left undisturbed." (aka Adventures in MI)

"Life would be a lot more fun if I didn't have a conscience."

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"This has been a delicious day."
"It has been a delicious day... I say with sugar on my lips."
"Now you just need someone to kiss you."
*cricket, cricket*
"I'm sorry, that sounded so awkward...."

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"Oh, so we're having the fancy coffee and they get McDonald's."
'Well, because that's what they like. They wouldn't appreciate the good stuff."
"Oh, right. 'Don't cast your pearls before swine.' Not that I'm calling your coworkers swine!"

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"I feel like I'm forgetting something...."
*sirens* "Maybe that the police are after you?"
"Yeah... what was it that I was doing last night?"
"Something involving identity theft and a very large pineapple."

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"'Beaners' is a racist term? I've never even heard of that word."
"Maybe you just don't move in the right circles."
"Maybe I need to attend more Klan meetings."
"Maybe don't write that on the blog."

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"Hmm... I don't know, Karyn, have we had any other wise words?"
"Well, I'm sure they've been spouting out of our ears... mouth... ears." *earring falls into food* "Spouting out of my ears like earrings!"