Sleep Deprivation + Caffeine = Velociraptor

"When I'm on caffiene I picture myself as a stick figure with a big head, crawling up a wall & taking a bite out of it. Or a velociraptor." - E.

Why One Should Not Eat Several-Month-Old Meat Sauce: A Case Study

"You have a class at 8am on Friday, don't you?" - A.

"No, it's 9am. Do you have something at 8am?" - E.

"No, but I wish I did, for once." - A.

"You WHAT?!?" - E.

"It's the sauce. It's making me crazy." - A.

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*rambling to A., who is staring pensively into space* "The thing about Fridays is the campus gets so deserted after-" - E.

*turning suddenly to E* "'Are you happy with your life, Frank?'" - A.

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"Your mom is really trying to tempt us. If you say 'strawberries' and 'nutella' in the same sentence, I don't even need to hear 'they're really good.'" - E.

"Well, you know sometimes instead of nutella I like to put flour on my strawberries." - A.

Conundrums on Campus, or alternatively: "College Makes Us Smart"

"We should become scientists and figure out how to stop the trees from budding." - A.

"I don't know if I'd want to try to go against the laws of nature." - E.

"Oh, I will. I will be the first person to go against gravity. And stop trees from budding. Although, to do something like that, you'd have to dedicate your whole life to it, so I guess I should choose just one law of nature to defy." - A. *philosophically*

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"That's the beginning of me defying the laws of nature. Defying crosswalks. It begins there." - A.

*singing helpfully* "Iiiii'm defyyyyyyying graavityyyyyyyyy-" - E.

"No. No you're not." - A.

*submissive silence* - E.

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"It's kind of a weird idea. People are attracted to weirdness, I guess." - E.

"Well that's good, because otherwise I'm never getting married." - A.

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"Is Nicaragua a city or a country?" - E.

"It's a country in South America, isn't it?" - A.

"If it's in South America, I don't think so. Maybe it's in Central America." - E.

"Well... it's somewhere souther than North America! Everywhere down there is South America." - A.

Keep it Classy

While listening to Josh Groban's "Smile":

"This isn't on a cd. It's actually a single he released." - A.

*matter-of-factly* "I know. I actually have heard this one. Because I listened to every version of this song on Youtube one night. *gasp!*" *suddenly catches self and looks at A. in horror/guilt.

"Write that down. WRITE THAT DOWN!" - A.

"It was an emotional evening." - E.

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"Want to stop at the Alehouse?" - A.

"Oh yeah." - E.

"Or how about Hooters. It's on the way home." - A.

"Thaaaat's classier." - E.

"OMG, I haven't had coffee in like two hours. I need some of the Bucks!"

"I could have gotten a whole extra hour of sleep!" - A.

"Well, it wouldn't have really been a Monday if you..." - E.

"Had a good day? Yeah, I know." - A.

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"Want to see my wedding cake? I found it. 'The One.' It's kind of like finding my husband." - A.

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"Is it my husband? Yes! It is!" - A. (opening a band-aid)

*blank look* - E.

"Spanish Buzz. I'm going to marry him." - A.

"Your husband is on a band-aid?" - E.

"*happily* It's like he's kissing my boo-boo constantly." - A.

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"I'm going to go get my sweatshirt - your smoothie is making me cold." - E.

*over-dramatic offended look* "MY smoothie?!" - A.

"It's delicious! It's just making me cold on the inside and-" - E.

"*solemnly* You're already cold on the inside, Erin." - A.

Spring Break Life Lessons

"I hate that word. 'Supplement.' *shudder* Blurgh! It makes me feel like I'm licking a dry popsicle stick." - A.

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"Ahhh... she's touching his chest hair! Gross! WHY! This is why you never talk to women in your bathrobe. Moral of the story." - A.

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"You have to have at least one... they're delicious!" - E.

"I don't deserve strawberries." - A.

That's What Friends are For

"I don't feel that's special. Normal people should be able to do that. 'Special' is he makes bon-bons and brings them to me." - A.

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"... 'cause everything in your life is really dictated by my selfish desires." - A.

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"Future boyfriends have a tall order, making bon-bons for my friends and catering to their every whim... no wonder I'm single." - E.