Latin Lamentations

"Guys, don't confuse crinis with cinis." - A.

"Yeah, you don't want your crinis to turn to cinis" - E.

"But if you sit too close to a fire, they will be." - A.

"And then your head will smell horrible...." - K.

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*flicking through slides* "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." - E.

"You're not helping." - K.

"That was my gemmitus, -us, masculinum about Latin." - E.

Minty Muscles

"Check him out - he's got a deltoid." K.

"Deltoid sounds like altoid. Like.. 'hey look, I've got a box of deltoids.'" - E.

"My deltoids are like altoids.... small, white, and curiously strong." - K.

Priorities

"Music is my life." -J.

"Well, music is my boyfriend." -M.

"Well... my life is better than your boyfriend." - J.

King Shall-we-meneser?

"I went to bed at 10 last night... I just feel so much more... alive!" - K.

I would write this down if it wasn't so racist.

"You can get away with anything if you're a kitten."

"I love being a kitten!"

~~~~~~~

"That's why I'm not feeding myself now. I mean, I'm eating... food..."

"You're anorexic now?!"

~~~~~~~

"You should be as weird as you want to be. That's how I operate."

~~~~~~~

"Black people don't usually hang out in coffee shops."

"Classy ones do. But they wouldn't read an e-mail over your shoulder."

The Tree Fairies of Friendship Square

"Look! A tree fairy!"

"Do you have the sign?"

"No.. I just have.. leaves."

Scratch-and-Sniff History Handouts

"And that is the smell of Assyrian blood!"

"That was a really weird part of the conversation to walk into. I think I'll be going now...."

3000 miles (approximately) cannot stop us!

Becca's Facebook status: "Becca Hurt is writing and loving some Kanye..."

4:53pmErin

you are writing Kanye?

wow..

and you love him

4:54pmBecca

no...writing...and listening

4:54pmErin

so I assume the relationship is serious now

;)

that was a bad attempt at humor from me

4:54pmBecca

no...he thinks I'm too heartless

"You Smell Like a Guy...."

"Do you think I could use some of your shampoo? I just ran out."

"Sure. Your hair will smell like man-hair, but go right ahead."

But she fails perfectly...

"I'm like a failed perfectionist." - Linds

Call me irresponsible

"Whoa! You want to do something.. more fun than talking in Latin?"

"I want to be irresponsible!"

...

"I'm trying to be more less evil."

Just a bit of leg-pulling

"I am like the angel of the Lord..."

"Touching my hip socket."

"...And you are like Israel."

Becca's Crippled Leg & Erin's Crippled Humor

"Do you want me to pull your leg?"

"That would be awesome, actually."

"The moon is made of cheese."

"...Is there anything else to that?"

"No, I was just pulling your leg."

"AGH."

Coke-runner

"I feel like a pirate. But like a Mexican coke pirate."

And with your spirit...

"Peace, love, and prosperity. Gospel."

"Peace be with you guys. THANKS FOR NOT SAYING 'AND WITH YOU!'"

Oh dear

"Wow... our blog is so unwholesome."

"I know. We should probably rate it PG-13."

Overheard Between Crazy Becca Hurt & Saint Erin

"Oh shiiiitake mushrooms."

"Whoa Erin! You're almost swearing these days. Oh! I came up with a new signature."

"...It's a swear word?"

"It's not necessarily a swear word... it could also mean drugs."

"It's a rabbit.. that's cursing?"

"Noooo it's a rabbit on speeeeed."

Nutella - not just for married people

"This stuff is insanely amazing. When I get married..."

"...You're going to eat Nutella?"

"I'm going to eat Nutella."

Dinner at the Infirmary

"You can never have potatoes too many times in one day!"

"Erin, they're not real potatoes. They're instant."

"Instant potatoes are like dandruff flakes with liquid added."

~~~

"You look like a little mouse."

"That's not the first time I've been called a mouse... in association with cheese."

Words from Kelsey

"Our table is haunted."

(I'm not sure I understand the logistics of this one, but visitors of the Infirmary have been duly warned)

Lookin' Fine

"I like the word 'fine.' Like, 'He is lookin' fine.' It's kind of sexy, but...."

"But it's still wholesome. It's kind of 50's with a rapper twist."

Correlations

"Come to think of it, what does 50 Cent have to do with key lime pie?"

Wise words from the Little Shrubbery

"Never try buttering toast with a spoon. Dumb."

Mildly Conceited Thankfulness

'Thank you that I don't have legs as other people do.'"

"'Thank you God for giving me nice legs unlike that tax collector over there.'"

The Rainbow

"I think I'm going to write my paper on Thursday-"

"RAINBOW!"

".... We're sunk."

"No look, it's on our ceiling!"

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, there is! That's so beautiful!"

"It's coming from this cd."

"That's so cool! I love rainbows!"

"Heeey... the rainbow is a promise from God that he wouldn't destroy the world again... so maybe this is a sign to us that we will not be destroyed by our homework this week! Hooray!"

"Hey guys - God sent us a rainbow today to say everything was gonna be okay! Turn back ye floods of despair!"

"This is so much more fun than homework."

"It's so much easier to be funnier when you're dying of despair."

Circumstantial Joy

"Everything is really funny to me right now because I'm so sad... bahaha... maybe posting on our blog will make me feel happy."

"Maybe we need to become better Christians or something."

Hyenas

"I feel like a hyena, eating this chocolate rabbit bit by bit but leaving its face... ah! It's too creepy. Maybe I should finish him off quickly...."

"Did you just say hyena?"

"Yes."

"Agh! I hate them now. I can't even think about it without barfing inside. I think I just barfed inside my mouth a little."

Childbirth of the Mind

"Week Four is always so horrible. But you always forget. It's like childbirth or something."

Carolina Takes the Truffles Off my Mind

"You know that song "Carolina"? I always get the lyrics wrong in my head and I can't stop singing: 'takes the truffles off my miiiind....'"

Signs of the Times

"It looked like he had been raptured! All his stuff was there and his computer was open, and his drink was melting, and there was just his half-eaten cinnamon roll...."

Tolkien Elective Ponderings

"Are orcs and dragons totally bad?" - Linds

"Yep. Totally." - Kels

"That's so sad! There's no hope for redemption for them!" - Linds

"No, that means you can kill them without remorse!" - Kels

Adventures in Win-Co

"Hey look you guys! Orange juice! Whoa! I want orange juice...."

"I'm plural now?"

...

"Kool-Aid! Can we get some? Please? Please? Please!"

"Uh.. sure. I feel kind of like your Mom."

"My Mom only let us get the yellow kind. Oooh! Let's get red... and green! This is so exciting!"

Make like an Orange Corvette and...

"Wait! I wrote a really funny-actually you probably won't like it- I think it's funny! The orange corvette rolled up like... an orange!"

Scavengers of Suburbia

"I wish there was a piece of that cake left... wait! I think I saw one in the trash."

"In the trash?"

"It doesn't look like it was touched much. We can eat those parts."

"I don't mind eating out of the trash. It makes me feel kind of dangerous. Like we're living on the edge."

"We're host-kitchen scavengers."

Cigarette Illiterate

"They're like... Campfire Coffee flavored. They're actually really gross. I don't actually chew the gum, I just smoke them."

"Don't you have the wrong end in your mouth?"

"No. That's the filter end. You didn't know that, Erin?"

"Awww...."

Illigit Cigs

*Jackson is my eleven year old cousin.

"Hey Jackson, do you want a bubble gun cigarette?"

"Sure...swww...this tastes so gross."

"Sorry, I should have got something other than Campfire Coffee Flavored."

"This makes me not want to smoke real cigarettes...can I throw this away?"

"Totally."

"I think I have cancer now."

"Happy Birthday Jackson...have some cancer."

Steel Mill Vibes

"Do you think I'm wearing too much brown?"

"I'm getting these super industry vibes. Like you work in a steel mill."

"All my jackets are brown and I'm cold. How about this grey sweater?"

"Much better. You were wearing all the same material and the cargo was looking super industry. That's my fashion statement for the day."

"'Fashion Advice by Rebecca'"

"'Don't look super industrial.' That is so 1890's."

Iam - Toothpaste of the Now

"Hey, you know how I'm slightly dyslexic? I just looked down and read your toothpaste in Latin."

"What does it say?"

"Aim. I read "iam." And then I thought, 'Whoa! Latin toothpaste!' And then it wasn't."

I think Encouragement is one of my Gifts

"I feel like I'm dying."

"You're not dying. Well, technically you are. Technically we're all dying. Or, are in the process of dying. Just at different rates of speed. You probably just won't really notice the effects until you're 70 or 80."

"...We're all dying!"

You are a Genius

"Oh noooo... I forgot my phone charger."

"Oh no!"

"Oh well. I guess I will just be unavailable for the next 8 weeks. An enigma."

"Or you could ask your parents to send it to you."

"... You are a genius."

Don't Swear

"I have so much freaking school to do. It's freaking horrible. Freaking, freaking-"

"Don't swear."

Freaking Huge Heads

"Babies have really freaking huge heads."

"They do! It's like... a third of their body! I think I read that somewhere in a math book. In the ratios section."

"And it's funny, because you really notice when they put their arms over their head and their hands barely touch. When we put our arms over our heads, look how much space there is! Whoa!"

"Wow! Yeah! We could have like.. two heads! That would be weird. People would look weird with two heads on top of each other."

"Yes. They would."

Drinking Horns

"Thermoses are like the drinking horns of the present. Or wine skins."

"Oh, wine skins. What are drinking horns?"

"Horns that you drink out of... a long time ago? Like the vikings used. Maybe."

"They used to put gunpowder in horns."

That was so scary.

"Oh! You scared me last night."

"I did?"

"Well you were talking alot after you went to bed, I could hear you in the kitchen. And then after I was done with my shower I was coming into the bedroom really quietly so I wouldn't wake you and I was just closing the door behind me when you suddenly sat up and yelled: 'AGHHH!' from the top bunk, right over my head, which was kind of freaky. And then you started giggling to yourself and laid back down and said, 'That was so scary!' And I was like.. yes.. it was.. thanks.. and I was wondering if you were awake and if I should say something to you and then you said, 'I'm already wearing that.' So then I thought you probably weren't awake. And I went to bed."

"Wow! I don't remember that."

Gratitude & Hospitalization

"Hey Becca, are you going to be on the dean's list?"

"No."

"Yes! You are! I believe in you!"

"Do you ever want to just get hit by a bus?"

"Life is a gift and so I feel like it would be ungrateful to pray for death, but I pray for hospitalization. Just paralysis, or maybe a week-long coma." - S.J.

Nose Tickles

"I'm coughing and I have nose tickles."

"Nose tickles?"

"That sounds like something weird people would say to their kids. Nose tickles!"

""Kids, when you sneeze it's because the little fairies are tickling your nose.'"

"That is way too cutesy for me to handle."

Lyrics from Lordship Reading

"I think if I'm Jesus, you're my John."

"Aww...."

"That would be a really great song lyric."

Slumdog Myopia

"I was telling my Mom about how after I got home from the movie I was feeling so sad about it that I was lying on the floor staring at the wall in depression, and then you told me to get up and eat some milk and cookies or you would kick me in the butt, but I was like 'Noooo... I'm tooo depressssed.' And then you did kick me and said you would do it again if I didn't get up. So I got up and we ate cookies and worked on our papers. And my Mom laughed. Really hard."

"Haha! And then you could be sad about your repressive roommate. 'Help! Help! I'm being repressed!'"

"Repressed is... a funny word. Because it's like.. ironed over again."

"Look, this is my offical diagnosis - myopia! Do I even have a perscription on this thing? No. That is so stupid. I love looking at these things... Capers Cafe!"

An invisible two-legged race

"Watch me run into a tree now. 'Hi!' Whump."

"Hey! Our shoes match."

"They do."

"We could walk like this with our feet together and we would match and look funny. Like an invisible two-legged race.

"Um..." *hums*

"Haha! Two legged race! A race with two legs? Three legged-race. An invisible three-legged race."

"I love the sun!"

On the Naming of this Blog

"If you die we'll say, 'It was like a small shrub was cut down on the edge of the forest and a tiny breeze blew in off the meadow.' Because God said: 'Bring me a shrubbery!'"

And then she prayed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"I am larger than a toaster."

"You ARE Hermoine!"