"They're like... Campfire Coffee flavored. They're actually really gross. I don't actually chew the gum, I just smoke them."
"Don't you have the wrong end in your mouth?"
"No. That's the filter end. You didn't know that, Erin?"
"Awww...."
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Illigit Cigs
*Jackson is my eleven year old cousin.
"Hey Jackson, do you want a bubble gun cigarette?"
"Sure...swww...this tastes so gross."
"Sorry, I should have got something other than Campfire Coffee Flavored."
"This makes me not want to smoke real cigarettes...can I throw this away?"
"Totally."
"I think I have cancer now."
"Happy Birthday Jackson...have some cancer."
"Hey Jackson, do you want a bubble gun cigarette?"
"Sure...swww...this tastes so gross."
"Sorry, I should have got something other than Campfire Coffee Flavored."
"This makes me not want to smoke real cigarettes...can I throw this away?"
"Totally."
"I think I have cancer now."
"Happy Birthday Jackson...have some cancer."
Friday, March 27, 2009
Steel Mill Vibes
"Do you think I'm wearing too much brown?"
"I'm getting these super industry vibes. Like you work in a steel mill."
"All my jackets are brown and I'm cold. How about this grey sweater?"
"Much better. You were wearing all the same material and the cargo was looking super industry. That's my fashion statement for the day."
"'Fashion Advice by Rebecca'"
"'Don't look super industrial.' That is so 1890's."
"I'm getting these super industry vibes. Like you work in a steel mill."
"All my jackets are brown and I'm cold. How about this grey sweater?"
"Much better. You were wearing all the same material and the cargo was looking super industry. That's my fashion statement for the day."
"'Fashion Advice by Rebecca'"
"'Don't look super industrial.' That is so 1890's."
Iam - Toothpaste of the Now
"Hey, you know how I'm slightly dyslexic? I just looked down and read your toothpaste in Latin."
"What does it say?"
"Aim. I read "iam." And then I thought, 'Whoa! Latin toothpaste!' And then it wasn't."
"What does it say?"
"Aim. I read "iam." And then I thought, 'Whoa! Latin toothpaste!' And then it wasn't."
Monday, March 23, 2009
I think Encouragement is one of my Gifts
"I feel like I'm dying."
"You're not dying. Well, technically you are. Technically we're all dying. Or, are in the process of dying. Just at different rates of speed. You probably just won't really notice the effects until you're 70 or 80."
"...We're all dying!"
"You're not dying. Well, technically you are. Technically we're all dying. Or, are in the process of dying. Just at different rates of speed. You probably just won't really notice the effects until you're 70 or 80."
"...We're all dying!"
You are a Genius
"Oh noooo... I forgot my phone charger."
"Oh no!"
"Oh well. I guess I will just be unavailable for the next 8 weeks. An enigma."
"Or you could ask your parents to send it to you."
"... You are a genius."
"Oh no!"
"Oh well. I guess I will just be unavailable for the next 8 weeks. An enigma."
"Or you could ask your parents to send it to you."
"... You are a genius."
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Don't Swear
"I have so much freaking school to do. It's freaking horrible. Freaking, freaking-"
"Don't swear."
"Don't swear."
Freaking Huge Heads
"Babies have really freaking huge heads."
"They do! It's like... a third of their body! I think I read that somewhere in a math book. In the ratios section."
"And it's funny, because you really notice when they put their arms over their head and their hands barely touch. When we put our arms over our heads, look how much space there is! Whoa!"
"Wow! Yeah! We could have like.. two heads! That would be weird. People would look weird with two heads on top of each other."
"Yes. They would."
"They do! It's like... a third of their body! I think I read that somewhere in a math book. In the ratios section."
"And it's funny, because you really notice when they put their arms over their head and their hands barely touch. When we put our arms over our heads, look how much space there is! Whoa!"
"Wow! Yeah! We could have like.. two heads! That would be weird. People would look weird with two heads on top of each other."
"Yes. They would."
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Drinking Horns
"Thermoses are like the drinking horns of the present. Or wine skins."
"Oh, wine skins. What are drinking horns?"
"Horns that you drink out of... a long time ago? Like the vikings used. Maybe."
"They used to put gunpowder in horns."
"Oh, wine skins. What are drinking horns?"
"Horns that you drink out of... a long time ago? Like the vikings used. Maybe."
"They used to put gunpowder in horns."
That was so scary.
"Oh! You scared me last night."
"I did?"
"Well you were talking alot after you went to bed, I could hear you in the kitchen. And then after I was done with my shower I was coming into the bedroom really quietly so I wouldn't wake you and I was just closing the door behind me when you suddenly sat up and yelled: 'AGHHH!' from the top bunk, right over my head, which was kind of freaky. And then you started giggling to yourself and laid back down and said, 'That was so scary!' And I was like.. yes.. it was.. thanks.. and I was wondering if you were awake and if I should say something to you and then you said, 'I'm already wearing that.' So then I thought you probably weren't awake. And I went to bed."
"Wow! I don't remember that."
"I did?"
"Well you were talking alot after you went to bed, I could hear you in the kitchen. And then after I was done with my shower I was coming into the bedroom really quietly so I wouldn't wake you and I was just closing the door behind me when you suddenly sat up and yelled: 'AGHHH!' from the top bunk, right over my head, which was kind of freaky. And then you started giggling to yourself and laid back down and said, 'That was so scary!' And I was like.. yes.. it was.. thanks.. and I was wondering if you were awake and if I should say something to you and then you said, 'I'm already wearing that.' So then I thought you probably weren't awake. And I went to bed."
"Wow! I don't remember that."
Gratitude & Hospitalization
"Hey Becca, are you going to be on the dean's list?"
"No."
"Yes! You are! I believe in you!"
"Do you ever want to just get hit by a bus?"
"Life is a gift and so I feel like it would be ungrateful to pray for death, but I pray for hospitalization. Just paralysis, or maybe a week-long coma." - S.J.
"No."
"Yes! You are! I believe in you!"
"Do you ever want to just get hit by a bus?"
"Life is a gift and so I feel like it would be ungrateful to pray for death, but I pray for hospitalization. Just paralysis, or maybe a week-long coma." - S.J.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Nose Tickles
"I'm coughing and I have nose tickles."
"Nose tickles?"
"That sounds like something weird people would say to their kids. Nose tickles!"
""Kids, when you sneeze it's because the little fairies are tickling your nose.'"
"That is way too cutesy for me to handle."
"Nose tickles?"
"That sounds like something weird people would say to their kids. Nose tickles!"
""Kids, when you sneeze it's because the little fairies are tickling your nose.'"
"That is way too cutesy for me to handle."
Monday, March 2, 2009
Lyrics from Lordship Reading
"I think if I'm Jesus, you're my John."
"Aww...."
"That would be a really great song lyric."
"Aww...."
"That would be a really great song lyric."
Slumdog Myopia
"I was telling my Mom about how after I got home from the movie I was feeling so sad about it that I was lying on the floor staring at the wall in depression, and then you told me to get up and eat some milk and cookies or you would kick me in the butt, but I was like 'Noooo... I'm tooo depressssed.' And then you did kick me and said you would do it again if I didn't get up. So I got up and we ate cookies and worked on our papers. And my Mom laughed. Really hard."
"Haha! And then you could be sad about your repressive roommate. 'Help! Help! I'm being repressed!'"
"Repressed is... a funny word. Because it's like.. ironed over again."
"Look, this is my offical diagnosis - myopia! Do I even have a perscription on this thing? No. That is so stupid. I love looking at these things... Capers Cafe!"
"Haha! And then you could be sad about your repressive roommate. 'Help! Help! I'm being repressed!'"
"Repressed is... a funny word. Because it's like.. ironed over again."
"Look, this is my offical diagnosis - myopia! Do I even have a perscription on this thing? No. That is so stupid. I love looking at these things... Capers Cafe!"
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