WWJD?

*while sitting in a parked car trying not to stare at the people in the car parked facing ours*

"Quick! Pretend to slap Anna while they're watching."

"Think about your Christian testimony."

*silence*

"Well, is there a fish sticker on the back of your car? I mean, they wouldn't know..."

"Five of them actually."

*deeper silence*

Mission Improbable

"Well this is the spy world. In my mini van. My super awesome mini van!"

Oh Steph!

"I do not have a rash all over my body! I have a swelling."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Overheard, but not necessarily correctly: "I'm not desperate. I'm lonely."

"That is NOT what I said!"

"What was that really funny thing you said?"

"Be quiet."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"I've been laying on the couch all day!" *throws book down in despair*

"Don't we know it. Eating bon-bons no less...."

"I don't know what reality exists in your head."

"It's nice, actually."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It's alive!

"Oh man, coffee makes me sooo alive!"

"I'm afraid this pizza is going to blow out of my hands and hit someone's windshield... literally."

"Love isn't a feeling. It's an ability." - Dan in Real Life

"It's an ability? I'm disabled."

~~~~~~~

"This is a proud moment for me. I am what you call 'a proud sister.'"

~~~~~~~

"Counting. That's a sure sign of wisdom."

~~~~~~~

"I can't say anything around you! My words aren't safe!"

~~~~~~~

"After a brief hiatus I shall return."

~~~~~~~

"Erin, we are in need of your pillow."

"No."

"I said get up!"

"You didn't, actually."

"I'm passive aggressive."

~~~~~~~

"Get up or I'll tickle you!"

"I'll poke you!"

"I'll make you snort to death!"

Blessed are the quiet in the library, for they shall not be scolded.

"Just because it's Monday doesn't mean you can call everybody jerks." - K.H.

~~~~~~~

"It's water under the rug." - M.C.

"Water under the rug?"

"I'm mixing metaphors, guys." - M.C.

~~~~~~~

"I'm going to have a band called Justin Timberlake's shaved head. We will be extremely successful." - M.C.

~~~~~~~

"Did you get one of these?" *holds up Bucers card* - K.H.

"No." - E.H.

"Oh... maybe they were just for Christ Church people." - K.H.

"My reward will be in heaven." - E.H.

"My reward will be at Bucers." - K.H.

Kumbaya, my Lord...

"Oh man... this brings back memories of when I was sticky... and angry... and five." - R.M.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"I charge extra for after-hours smoke signals." - T.A.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"What's making that noise?"

"Must be the barn monkeys." - D.R.

"Jesus is my friend..."

"Let's go for a walk in the rain."

"I would if I didn't have to be attractive."

"You know that's going on the blog..."

"Goshdarnit! Um... everything I say is copyrighted."

"You should probably stop talking now."

"Why? I'm like the fount of all wisdom."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Beauty is my cross to bear." *sigh*

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"What if we ate everything that we valued?"

"I hope you don't value me as a friend...."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"'Bugs and drugs.'"

"That's what you had for breakfast."

In his defense, liberal arts schools aren't generally known for their math.

"Just look at the three of us. It's like we're twins." -K.T.

The Ultimate Honeymoon

"I want to go to a strange place with a strange woman."

Steak and potato milkshake, anyone?

"It's hard to be a hungry man."

"Heeeey.. you just called me a man. That brought back childhood memories...."

Ole

"I think I would make a good Mexican." -J.B.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"It's called Horchata."

"It's a morning-after drink. Wait... I mean... oh noooo...."

"Like... a hangover drink?"

"Yeah.... Not a contraceptive."

Confessions of a 4-year-old Merman

"Okay, I will be the mermaid, and you will be a lost boy."

"Don't you want to be a merman?"

"Oh. I guess."

LATER...

(confidentially) "Do you know what, Erin? I actually don't like being a merman."

Be free!

"That would be one to pass down to the grandchildren."

"'I set all the animals free in the pet shop when no one was looking. You should have heard the screams of the customers. But then they started eating each other....'"

"The customers?"

"It was pandemonium."

Sound Advice

"I sit on chairs, not people." - A.G.

Swingers

"Time to start off this evening right... with drugs." - Linds.

LOST in Translation

"I was reading the Life of Calvin..."

"Calvin & Hobbes?"

"No, Calvin the Theologian."

"I guess they didn't have last names back then."

"Yes they did."

"But he didn't."

"John Calvin."

"Well.. in the Bible they didn't have last names."

An Oracle of B-Pain

"It's not like he requires a perfect angel man."