"Jesus is my friend..."

"Let's go for a walk in the rain."

"I would if I didn't have to be attractive."

"You know that's going on the blog..."

"Goshdarnit! Um... everything I say is copyrighted."

"You should probably stop talking now."

"Why? I'm like the fount of all wisdom."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Beauty is my cross to bear." *sigh*

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"What if we ate everything that we valued?"

"I hope you don't value me as a friend...."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"'Bugs and drugs.'"

"That's what you had for breakfast."

I would write this down if it wasn't so racist.

"You can get away with anything if you're a kitten."

"I love being a kitten!"

~~~~~~~

"That's why I'm not feeding myself now. I mean, I'm eating... food..."

"You're anorexic now?!"

~~~~~~~

"You should be as weird as you want to be. That's how I operate."

~~~~~~~

"Black people don't usually hang out in coffee shops."

"Classy ones do. But they wouldn't read an e-mail over your shoulder."