Gone Scrazy

"Your plants are just THRIVING!" - E.
"Oh, I thought you said 'pants." - K.
"Your pants are just THRIVING!" - E.
"Thirty, flirty, and thriving." - K.

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"I'll let you be in control of the music again." - K.
"You know how I just love power." - E.

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"I can spell gnome." - E.
"Ohhhh, well THAT'S cool. Congratulations." - K.

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"Beefily. I could picture it being a word." - E.
"But you could also picture 'sweetfly' and 'wrothel.'" - K.

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"Give it a rest with the Japanese words." - K.
"It's not Japanese, it's... Googly." - E.
"We're going Scrabble crazy. Scrazy." - K.

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"Do you mind if I bring it out on my plate?" - K.
"Yes. I mind." - E.
"Well too bad." - K.
"We are so lovey this morning." - E.
"It was strong coffee." - K.

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"My feet are singing. In French." - E.

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"I usually have a cup of tea and a glass of water in the morning, but then I just drink all afternoon." - E.
"Are we still talking about coffee?" - K.

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"Would you like to see some beer in their natural habitat?" - K. (misheard by E.)

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"I wasn't stalking. I was talking. With an s." - K.

Christmas is Better

"I freaked out because of Christmas... and kind of because of him." - A.

Olympic Dreams

"I had a dream that Josh and Michael Phelps were the same person-" - A.

"What?! That's horrifying!" - E.

"Yeah. And he was kind of a jerk." - A.

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"So I said, 'Who hides someone's mp3 charger cord in the bathroom? You're a jerk and I hope you lose.'" - A.

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"I'm going to put that on my tentative mind calendar." - E.

"Yep. Stick it in your noggin." - A.

"Wait! I need to write that down. I can tell this is gonna be a good visit."

"YES! We need to watch the Pirates of the Caribbean movies!"

"All four of them! Mara-thooooooooonnnnnn..."

"Grey Poupon? Why are we talking about mustard?"

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"In my fictional life, I'm really close to the Lord, but... you've done a lot of horrible things."

"Somehow I don't think I should say that."

What's a little incivility between friends?

"If you need some candy, I have all this Easter candy and I need you to eat some of it."
*politely* "No, actually I think I'm fine-"
"EAT IT!"
"NO!"
*submissively* "Okay, that's fine...."

Sleep Deprivation + Caffeine = Velociraptor

"When I'm on caffiene I picture myself as a stick figure with a big head, crawling up a wall & taking a bite out of it. Or a velociraptor." - E.

Why One Should Not Eat Several-Month-Old Meat Sauce: A Case Study

"You have a class at 8am on Friday, don't you?" - A.

"No, it's 9am. Do you have something at 8am?" - E.

"No, but I wish I did, for once." - A.

"You WHAT?!?" - E.

"It's the sauce. It's making me crazy." - A.

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*rambling to A., who is staring pensively into space* "The thing about Fridays is the campus gets so deserted after-" - E.

*turning suddenly to E* "'Are you happy with your life, Frank?'" - A.

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"Your mom is really trying to tempt us. If you say 'strawberries' and 'nutella' in the same sentence, I don't even need to hear 'they're really good.'" - E.

"Well, you know sometimes instead of nutella I like to put flour on my strawberries." - A.

Keep it Classy

While listening to Josh Groban's "Smile":

"This isn't on a cd. It's actually a single he released." - A.

*matter-of-factly* "I know. I actually have heard this one. Because I listened to every version of this song on Youtube one night. *gasp!*" *suddenly catches self and looks at A. in horror/guilt.

"Write that down. WRITE THAT DOWN!" - A.

"It was an emotional evening." - E.

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"Want to stop at the Alehouse?" - A.

"Oh yeah." - E.

"Or how about Hooters. It's on the way home." - A.

"Thaaaat's classier." - E.

"OMG, I haven't had coffee in like two hours. I need some of the Bucks!"

"I could have gotten a whole extra hour of sleep!" - A.

"Well, it wouldn't have really been a Monday if you..." - E.

"Had a good day? Yeah, I know." - A.

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"Want to see my wedding cake? I found it. 'The One.' It's kind of like finding my husband." - A.

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"Is it my husband? Yes! It is!" - A. (opening a band-aid)

*blank look* - E.

"Spanish Buzz. I'm going to marry him." - A.

"Your husband is on a band-aid?" - E.

"*happily* It's like he's kissing my boo-boo constantly." - A.

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"I'm going to go get my sweatshirt - your smoothie is making me cold." - E.

*over-dramatic offended look* "MY smoothie?!" - A.

"It's delicious! It's just making me cold on the inside and-" - E.

"*solemnly* You're already cold on the inside, Erin." - A.

That's What Friends are For

"I don't feel that's special. Normal people should be able to do that. 'Special' is he makes bon-bons and brings them to me." - A.

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"... 'cause everything in your life is really dictated by my selfish desires." - A.

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"Future boyfriends have a tall order, making bon-bons for my friends and catering to their every whim... no wonder I'm single." - E.

Young Love

"That movie reminded me of when we were younger." - Dad

"But we didn't know each other when we were younger." - Mom

"But... we were younger!" - Dad

Clothes Make the Man.

"It's hard to talk to you seriously when you're dancing around like that."

"I can't help it. These are my dancing pants."

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"I'm going to get married in these pants. These are going to be my wedding pants."

"Over the mysteries of female life there is a veil best left undisturbed." (aka Adventures in MI)

"Life would be a lot more fun if I didn't have a conscience."

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"This has been a delicious day."
"It has been a delicious day... I say with sugar on my lips."
"Now you just need someone to kiss you."
*cricket, cricket*
"I'm sorry, that sounded so awkward...."

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"Oh, so we're having the fancy coffee and they get McDonald's."
'Well, because that's what they like. They wouldn't appreciate the good stuff."
"Oh, right. 'Don't cast your pearls before swine.' Not that I'm calling your coworkers swine!"

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"I feel like I'm forgetting something...."
*sirens* "Maybe that the police are after you?"
"Yeah... what was it that I was doing last night?"
"Something involving identity theft and a very large pineapple."

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"'Beaners' is a racist term? I've never even heard of that word."
"Maybe you just don't move in the right circles."
"Maybe I need to attend more Klan meetings."
"Maybe don't write that on the blog."

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"Hmm... I don't know, Karyn, have we had any other wise words?"
"Well, I'm sure they've been spouting out of our ears... mouth... ears." *earring falls into food* "Spouting out of my ears like earrings!"

The Profundity of Sean

"Community college is a melting pot of races. It's the Wal-Mart of education."

A Classical Education Run Amok

"By the way... I'm coming to visit you this summer if it kills me. Though hopefully it won't come to that as I wouldn't be much fun dead." - E.

"Yeeeeeessssss. And you shall not surely die. Even though that was totally the wrong person to quote." - B.

"Quoting Satan? That's horrible. What do they teach you at this school?" - S.

"I know, I know... I should know better. That's 'a classical education run amok' probably." - B.

Really, It's Not You, It's Me.

From the Archive:

“It’s 9:50 and I haven’t gotten anything done.” - K.

“It’s me.” - E.

“No it’s not.” - K.

“Yes. It’s me.” - E.

“Well, if it is, I like you here. I listened to a sermon on community today and it said to surround yourself with people, whether you like them or not.” – K.

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“Si pecuniosa issem, non corpus meum venderem.” - K.

“Well, you don’t want to make it sound like you are a prostitute....” – A.B.

WWJD?

*while sitting in a parked car trying not to stare at the people in the car parked facing ours*

"Quick! Pretend to slap Anna while they're watching."

"Think about your Christian testimony."

*silence*

"Well, is there a fish sticker on the back of your car? I mean, they wouldn't know..."

"Five of them actually."

*deeper silence*

Mission Improbable

"Well this is the spy world. In my mini van. My super awesome mini van!"

Oh Steph!

"I do not have a rash all over my body! I have a swelling."

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Overheard, but not necessarily correctly: "I'm not desperate. I'm lonely."

"That is NOT what I said!"

"What was that really funny thing you said?"

"Be quiet."

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"I've been laying on the couch all day!" *throws book down in despair*

"Don't we know it. Eating bon-bons no less...."

"I don't know what reality exists in your head."

"It's nice, actually."

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In his defense, liberal arts schools aren't generally known for their math.

"Just look at the three of us. It's like we're twins." -K.T.