An Oracle of B-Pain

"It's not like he requires a perfect angel man."

I would write this down if it wasn't so racist.

"You can get away with anything if you're a kitten."

"I love being a kitten!"

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"That's why I'm not feeding myself now. I mean, I'm eating... food..."

"You're anorexic now?!"

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"You should be as weird as you want to be. That's how I operate."

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"Black people don't usually hang out in coffee shops."

"Classy ones do. But they wouldn't read an e-mail over your shoulder."

Signs of the Times

"It looked like he had been raptured! All his stuff was there and his computer was open, and his drink was melting, and there was just his half-eaten cinnamon roll...."