Why One Should Not Eat Several-Month-Old Meat Sauce: A Case Study

"You have a class at 8am on Friday, don't you?" - A.

"No, it's 9am. Do you have something at 8am?" - E.

"No, but I wish I did, for once." - A.

"You WHAT?!?" - E.

"It's the sauce. It's making me crazy." - A.

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*rambling to A., who is staring pensively into space* "The thing about Fridays is the campus gets so deserted after-" - E.

*turning suddenly to E* "'Are you happy with your life, Frank?'" - A.

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"Your mom is really trying to tempt us. If you say 'strawberries' and 'nutella' in the same sentence, I don't even need to hear 'they're really good.'" - E.

"Well, you know sometimes instead of nutella I like to put flour on my strawberries." - A.

Spring Break Life Lessons

"I hate that word. 'Supplement.' *shudder* Blurgh! It makes me feel like I'm licking a dry popsicle stick." - A.

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"Ahhh... she's touching his chest hair! Gross! WHY! This is why you never talk to women in your bathrobe. Moral of the story." - A.

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"You have to have at least one... they're delicious!" - E.

"I don't deserve strawberries." - A.