Kumbaya, my Lord...

"Oh man... this brings back memories of when I was sticky... and angry... and five." - R.M.

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"I charge extra for after-hours smoke signals." - T.A.

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"What's making that noise?"

"Must be the barn monkeys." - D.R.

"Jesus is my friend..."

"Let's go for a walk in the rain."

"I would if I didn't have to be attractive."

"You know that's going on the blog..."

"Goshdarnit! Um... everything I say is copyrighted."

"You should probably stop talking now."

"Why? I'm like the fount of all wisdom."

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"Beauty is my cross to bear." *sigh*

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"What if we ate everything that we valued?"

"I hope you don't value me as a friend...."

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"'Bugs and drugs.'"

"That's what you had for breakfast."

In his defense, liberal arts schools aren't generally known for their math.

"Just look at the three of us. It's like we're twins." -K.T.

The Ultimate Honeymoon

"I want to go to a strange place with a strange woman."

Steak and potato milkshake, anyone?

"It's hard to be a hungry man."

"Heeeey.. you just called me a man. That brought back childhood memories...."

Ole

"I think I would make a good Mexican." -J.B.

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"It's called Horchata."

"It's a morning-after drink. Wait... I mean... oh noooo...."

"Like... a hangover drink?"

"Yeah.... Not a contraceptive."

Confessions of a 4-year-old Merman

"Okay, I will be the mermaid, and you will be a lost boy."

"Don't you want to be a merman?"

"Oh. I guess."

LATER...

(confidentially) "Do you know what, Erin? I actually don't like being a merman."

Be free!

"That would be one to pass down to the grandchildren."

"'I set all the animals free in the pet shop when no one was looking. You should have heard the screams of the customers. But then they started eating each other....'"

"The customers?"

"It was pandemonium."